Children in Danger

You love your children. You probably don't want them to die. You may even stay up late worrying about rapists, murders, neighborhood hooligans, rapists, thugs, miscreants, and even rapists. However there is a more sinister villain out there, one who will torture your beautiful little ragamuffins over time without you even knowing about it. The villain is radiation. Only this time its not coming from power-lines, midgets, or your friendly 8:00 in the dang morning and you don't want to get up and answer the door Jehovah Whiteness. It's coming from the drug-running public schools your children attend. The many times you've heard your child say "Mommy my head hurts" could have been meaning death while you brushed it off as a migraine. A recent study by the USRS (United States Radiation Studies) association statistically proved that without a doubt TV monitors and Computer Screens might possibly be, along with hundreds of other factors, the exact reason for brain tumors in school children. Researchers located a specific particle emission from these, screens and monitors, which they have classified as Unknown particle 13. Which means bad luck for young children and even teachers. When interviewed Dr. Jeremiah W. Bullfrog of the USRS stated, "We are looking forward to the protecting the children no matter how much we have to get paid." To investigate further we went to Buffalu Senior High School in Buffalu, Minnesota hoping to the get the reaction of Head Principle Dr Nathan Miller. However we were quite shocked as we were met at the office door by Dr Miller who screamed, "I won't have you cash mongers in my school!" Wanting to avoid the fury of a raving alcoholic, we decided it would be much safer to interview the school staff. We went to Karlton Urdal, the head of the high school’s math department, who boldly stated "This has got to stop, there are only so many students willing to put up with calculus!" as he slammed his fist on the small chair attached desk he was sitting in. No matter how you look at the issue more and more students are coming home with headaches. Since we all know of the incredible, flawless abilities of our teachers and the mind enriching value of the colages they give out, it must be from radiation. Some thing must sure be done right quick. Our teachers done teached ourselves well good to knew that.