"Welcome the the "Author's Daily View". This is where I, the author, get to speak my mind about the random issues of life and how I feel about them. Why should I get this supreme privalege and not you? Well, lets see you try and be sarcastic and make snide comments all day long. It's not as easy as it looks."
-The Author-
05/03/02 Women and their PMS
Well, it's been proven that women have PMS. There really is no way around it. However should it be used as a cop out? I think not. It's just like if I know my leg has been broken for the past two months can I really blame it for making me late to places? No, and neither should all you ladies be proclaming in the streets that your "hormonal cycles" are causing all your problems. I know all you women are going to post pictures of me all over the nation demanding my execution now, but you can all kiss my testosterone. After all, we men are all the same anyway, thats why we have to wear tuxes that all look the same while you get your flashy dress of choice. So for all you guys out there who constantly have to deal with the she-devil in your relationship and can never get your way because she spazes out and then blames it on PMS; I have one last comment for you. Try crying. It works well if you can must up tears once or twice a year. If you conjure some tears every blue moon, you'll get your way. For the rest of that day she'll be yours and it'll be like heaven on earth. Just don't get too used to it because she's going to ream you out tomorrow once again and don't use it to often because then she'll dump you for the emotionaly stable Jock who's been watchin that booty from day one. Peace Ya'll
09/13/02 Hot or Not
Ok, so I picked a really bad day to start doing the author's daily view. I know it's Friday the 13th but I'm not superstious, so send those black cats across my path. I'd like to take a moment to thank all the wonderful women from Hotornot.com. Not only have you gals managed to be completely available to guys like my friend Ross and I, but you've also made sure to keep that INTEGRITY. In honor of all the wonderful "high caliber people" that frequent this website I would like to display the random bad e-mail of the year. Are you ready? I had to wipe the tears of laughter away from this one...
are you really a cowboy?!?!?
Thats it.
Now honestly ladies, am I supposed to be impressed by this line? Does it work well for picking up guys at clubs? I know we are dealing with the internet and nobody really cares, but I did really expect more from you peoples. Why couldn't Osama have killed the dumb people???
09/20/02 Girlfriend Fever
Alright, whats the deal with people these days? If you call someone and leave a message, the polite thing to do is to call them back. We all live important lives and just because I don't ever call people back, that doesn't mean everyone else get's to aviod the rules that I think they should follow. You'll have to forgive me; I'm just grumpy because I'm missing my girlfriend. It's hard not to get attached to someone you can make-out with on a regular basis and that laughs at all your jokes. Maybe thats what you call marriage material. If it isn't, the fact that she comes over at the drop of a hat sure is. Yeah Yeah, we all know I'm doomed to find the right girl one of these days. Pray for me. Pray that my fall to the temptation and cruelty of women and the eternal imprisonment of marriage be swift and painless. Some how I know that even with the prayers of my millions of readers, it will be long and painful, not to mention straining on my pocket book, before I end up being forced to spend the rest of my life with one of those female vipers we call "girls". Anyway, I'm tired and no-one really reads this stuff. Peace.
09/22/02 Imitation Life
Movies are really a cruel joke. Look at every teen movie ever made. High schools don't have kids lounging around the front grounds of the school at any time of the day. Schools lock down kids like a prison. Principles aren't funny, they are jailers. They are the warden. And to top it all off, the unpopular kid never ends up with an attractive popular girlfriend no matter what the circumstances. Call me pesemistic, but I'm speaking from a good three years of high school experience. I bet you wondering why I didn't get 4. Go ahead and ask me when you hammer out that hate mail you've been dying to send me. Call me pesemistic, or negative, but I had to wait until I was nineteen before I got a hot girlfriend that was actually worth keeping. Who knew hot girls actually had personality? Nice to be the one who everyone else is jealous of. C'mon ladies... you know you want me.
Some Day Inbetween... Tight Shirts and Sin
Welcome to the world of the tight shirt. Why didn't you women tell me that you liked tight shirts so much? Why did I not figure this out on my own. You ladies tell me all the time that you really look for personality in a guy. LIES LIES LIES. Alll damn lies! I wasn't getting any girls a few months ago. I start wearing tight shirts and showing off my muscles... and low and behold I have more dates then I can deal with. Look at you ladies. Look at your superficialness and weep for this man is now taken and has no intrest in your double dealing ways. Ok, Ok, sometimes I wish I was single. Being married isn't so bad though, I don't mind haning with my g/f and I'm sure someday she'll actually convince me to tie the knot. Too bad I didn't get more of a change to get out and lay down my game. Oh would I have made a great player. A player to top players. Too bad indeed. It's not really my fault that I'm being commited to my girlfriend you know. It's my friends. If they would be willing to hang out a little more, I wouldn't have the need for a woman. After all, who needs sex right? I can't believe I just said that. That was NOT RIGHT. I need sex. I will get sex. Ok, I'm getting married tomorrow. Would you like to come to my wedding? Call Amanda and ask her where it's going to be held. I think she's got the whole game show planned out anyway.
"Forgive me for I have sinned to the temptress that is woman" -Alexander the Great
10/09/02 Whats Worth Money
I'm tired of being poor. It's taking way way way to long to get money. The only real easy money is in crime. Lets be serrious here. 90% of all the criminals in this world are idiots, and 72.3% of all statistics are made up. You've got to pray that this world never actually has to come to terms with a criminal that plans things out. Thats why I say kudos to our local minnesota sniper. If you can kill someone and not get caught then you're really a good five steps ahead of every other "pop a cap in your ass" thug. I'm sure you think it's wrong of me to support criminals and killers, but hey, at least they take the banality out of life and provide your local doughnut eating police officers with a job. If there's ever been a wasteful expendature on money it's been in that department. Why do we let these fat slobs keep a 55,000 dollar police cruizer at their residence for their own amusement? Those puppies should be working round the clock while Officer "Bob" is sleeping. I don't think it's too much to ask a state official to drive to work. Hell, the rest of us have to too. Of course the rest of us also dont' get to hand out meaningless tickets for accidents either. Oh, wait, I'm sorry... Colisions. Thats why I want to be rich, so I can have the luxury of not caring about any of this stuff. Too bad wallstreet defines rich as over one million a year in income. We're all doomed to be poor. Just accept it and find yourself a way of slowly killing your self.
10/15/02 Life... Ick
I feel generally dissatisfied today. Maybe it's the mononucleosis talking, but nothing seems to be going my way. I can't find anything that seems valid to do with my time. Even the most exciting ideas soon fizzle out to be the most boring nightmare. Acting on impulse with mono is like closing your eyes while your pushing your car down the hill to get it started because you drive a stick shift '54 Chevy 1/2 ton pickup and the stupid thing won't start without forcing it into gear while it's in motion because your dad idolizes the damn thing and refuses to believe that it could be unreliable while it's always you that ends up getting stuck at Wal-Mart with your girlfriend and a futon mattress... ahem.... Anyway, I think you get the idea. It's hard to do much of anything when you're feeling all depressive. Especially if it's because your sick and your not getting any special attention. Well, I thought this daily view was going somewhere, but as you can see, I'm at a horrible loss for words. Go read the times today folks. When the one-man band gets mononucleosis, the one-man band shuts down for the day.
10/17/02 Ugly Girl and Ugly Guy
Welcome to the world of Ugly people. Since I'm no longer cursed with the disease of no fashion sense, I get to make fun of those people who are less fortunate in life then me. Actually, I'm going to make fun of those people who blatently show off the fact that they are ugly and hideous to look at. These people need to be punished! HAHAHAAHA Now lets see that hate mail all you little boys and girls; and mommies and daddies. WRITE! because your probably really ugly too...
03/23/02 Time Sink
Welcome to the world of work. Take a job with good pay and it'll suck the website out of you. I'm a manager now, so props to that, but now that I have an actual day job instead of a graveyard shift be sure to look for me at the parties. I'll be rockin it out and you'll be sure that I won't be able to remember any of it. Hehehe. Also before I go after this quick update I reccomend you all see the movie Van Wilder, otherwise your a retard midget freak who deserves to be alone and date ugly gay guys. Peace.
04/03/02 Passive Thoughts For Arrogent Times
I'm sitting in my room thinking that there's a million things in my life I'd rather do. Maybe thats why I wander over here and do this thing. We all should be reading more books instead of passing daily judgement on people. Take Michael Jackson for example. I just want to take the moment here and say that personally I support the man. He may be excentric, he may do weird things that only he understands, but when a man has done as much good in the world as he has without being Mother Teresa, you've gotta learn to cut him a little slack rather then go and demand his 50 million in court. Besides, how many of YOU actually went out and supported Mother Teresa? How many of you have done your good for the day? Yeah, thats what I thought... very few, but I guarentee that you've all gone out and bought quite a few CD's or other personal possesions to add to your collection. Now who's the selfish one. Don't worry though, I'm about to spend twenty-one dollars on a haircut for myself, so I'm right there with ya. All I'm saying is that maybe we should spend a little more time consciously trying to get along instead of flicking off every driver that makes a mistake. Don't worry if they nearly kill you, they didn't MEAN it... Ok I'm done.
04/08/03 Primal Urges
Christian, Not-Christian; Morals, No-Morals; No matter how you want to look at it, we all want sex. It's been my experience that in the online world where you can be who you want to be, the majority of conversations are held between guys and girls. No guy really wants to talk to another guy online, and I can't give any reason for this. In any given online chat situation where a guy and girl are both talking to each other and they are remotly attracted, sex will be mentioned. To go even further, sex will not only be mentioned but consist of sexual banter for a good portion of the conversation. It's only the social bindings of society, religion, and morals that keep us from meeting the other person and carring out our primal desires. Personally I say give in, if you have morals, get married and get sexy. If not, find someone with the same passions and get busy. Life's a wasting, and no matter how much you love your hands, only a partner can truly send you to seventh heaven...
12/31/03 New Beginings and the Power of Belief
I knew there was a reason to all of this, I just couldn't find it. Today I find myself on the brink of a new year and once again running in the same downward spiral as always. It's been over 2 years since I've done this and new beginings always feel refreshing. Sadly I haven't uploaded the new patched version to this site yet, but I'll get to it, no-one really reads it yet anyway so I'm sure all my fans who have been checking everyday for new updates with me will cheer and cry in excitement at the changes. There are even new colors! Shut up and get the the dailyview... Here goes. Today I tell warn you not to be consumed by self-justification. This simple technique of proving what you want to yourself can be destructive to your life and provide you with nothing more than looking hypocritical to your friends and being frustrating to all those close to you. Please for God, Alah, or whoever you worship's sake... make sure your honest to yourself that you believe because you believe and you don't elaborate to others life changing experiences that you've had. Or join the power team. They smash ice, rip phone books, and move big iron weights to prove their beliefs and thats just cool.
